


Flowers in Bloom

by nadagio



Series: Flowers [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkward Sexual Situations, Canon Universe, Dirty Talk, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Pollen, Takes place whenever, because this is fiction and i can do what i want, horribly contrived situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:47:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nadagio/pseuds/nadagio
Summary: The team is late so now Lance and Keith have to wait for them. Except they're stuck waiting in a small cave and those flowers Lance picked seem to have some reallyweirdside effects...





	Flowers in Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> There’s some explicit conversation and self-pleasure action in this. Brief mention of consent and the ‘r’ word is spoken. Please let me know if there’s something else I should warn for or tag. Enjoy the shenanigans!

Lance weaves a flower crown while Keith paces furiously in the picturesque meadow. What a grump.

“They were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago!” Keith says. For like, the fifth time but with an updated number of minutes.

“Calm down, buddy,” Lance says, _again_ because this guy just cannot take a hint. “They’ll get here when they get here. Freaking out about it isn’t gonna do anything except give you wrinkles.”

Keith actually _growls_.

Lance finishes the first flower crown and stands to place it on Keith’s head with a smile. “Take a minute,” he encourages. “Stop and smell the alien roses. You’ll have a better time of it, I promise.”

Keith scowls at him but doesn’t take off the flower crown, so Lance counts that as progress. He sits down to start another one, humming a little tune. Sure, it’s kind of annoying that the others are late for the pick up but this area of the planet is absolutely gorgeous and it’s a nice day. Lance isn’t gonna complain about spending some time outdoors and _not_ stuck in a cold castleship.

Keith continues to pace furiously but at least he looks a little prettier now while doing so. Good work, Lance.

“What the hell is that?” Keith calls out sometime later, looking up and pointing at the sky as Lance finishes the second crown. Lance looks up.

“Um...” he says, squinting. “Well, it’s not the pod we’ve been waiting for, and it’s not a lion or the castle.”

“So it’s a ship but it’s not _our_ ship and it’s coming this way.” Keith pulls his bayard out from underneath his jacket and Lance scrambles to his feet.

“Oh, no! No way, Mullet. This was an _undercover stealth_ type mission.” Lance puts a hand on the hothead’s shoulder. “You can’t just fight anyone who comes and lands on the planet.”

“Well then what do we do, genius?” Keith snaps back. “We’re running out of time before it gets close enough to see us!”

“Hide. Duh!”

“ _Where_? We’re in an open field! There’s no cover!”

“There’s a pretty big rock formation back that way,” Lance says, pointing. “I say we make a run for it.”

“Fine.” Keith grabs Lance by the arm and starts to drag him away.

“WAIT! My flower crown!”

“For fuck’s sake, Lance!” But Keith still waits for Lance to duck down and grab the crown. He really _does_ care.

They sprint.

They’re red-faced and panting by the time they get to the giant-ass rock, but the ship is only now close enough to be clearly visible so they’re probably okay. And it doesn’t look Galra but better safe than sorry.

Lance and Keith walk around the formation until they’re on the side opposite to the direction the ship is going to land.

“Ooh, a cave!” Lance grabs Keith’s arm and tugs him inside.

It’s almost more of an overhang than a cave, but the space is hollowed out enough to fit both of them and is partially underground so it’s probably their best bet in terms of places to hide out and wait. Keith is cooperative enough to duck down and join Lance in the small space but he doesn’t seem too pleased about it. On the other hand, Keith rarely ever seems pleased about _anything_ so that’s just fine.

“Now what?” Keith grumbles, probably upset because he can’t pace anymore.

“And now...” Lance gives a short drum roll on his thighs. “- We wait!”

Keith sighs and crosses his arms, but the drama of the action is slightly lessened by the pretty blue flower crown he still wears. Nice one, Lance.

“It’s gonna be fine, buddy,” Lance says, attempting to cheer him up because Lance is a good friend. “We have our comms, they’ll let us know when they get here.”

“We don’t know why they’re late,” Keith mumbles. “They could be fighting for their lives right now. They could already be dead.”

“No one is dead, dude,” Lance says, reaching across their tangled legs to put a comforting hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Whatever’s going on they’re gonna deal with it and they’ll be fine. Because they’re awesome and capable. They’re coming for us, they’re just a little late.”

“...Okay,” Keith says, eyes averted, looking at least a little calmer. Lance smiles, pleased, and adjusts his flower crown before sitting back against the rock.

“So… now what?” Lance says, drumming his fingers on his thighs. Keith gives him a _look_ that says a lot about how unimpressed he is with Lance right now.

“You just said we have to wait.”

“Yeah. But I don’t wanna just sit here in silence for however long we have to wait.”

“I like silence.”

“I’ve noticed. But long silences makes me twitchy. I need to talk or something!”

“I’ve noticed,” Keith parrots back sarcastically.

He doesn’t say anything else. Okay then, it’s up to Lance to keep things lively! No problemo.

“Do you know any good songs?” Lance asks him.

“No.”

“Do you know any _bad_ songs?”

“No.”

“Okaaay, well I know a few - “

“Lance, please,” Keith cuts in, actually looking a little desperate. “DON’T.”

Lance huffs and crosses his arms, completely offended. “You haven’t even heard my singing voice yet! You don’t know it’s bad. In fact, my singing is amazing. My singing is - “

“Please,” Keith repeats.

“Ugh. Fine. No songs.”

“Thank you.”

Lance shifts a bit, muttering apologies when his feet and legs knock against Keith. It’s surprisingly warm in here for a cave that’s partially underground and out of direct light. It must be their body heat filling up the small space. He strips off his jacket and tries not to elbow Keith anywhere in the process. He gets there eventually and it’s nice to be a little cooler.

“So… no songs,” Lance says. “You got anything to talk about, Keith?”

“No.”

“Really? You’re not gonna be much help, are you?”

“No.”

A thought occurs to Lance and he snickers.

“You know, I met a yupper once who I think you’d get along with,” Lance smirks. “He was all ‘yup’ and you’re all ‘no.’ All the time! You’d have some great conversations.”

“Okay, Lance,” Keith says, humoring him but also clearly making fun of him. The jerk.

“Ooh, some variation,” Lance says. “You can speak after all!”

“...No.” And Keith smirks a bit so Lance laughs at his joke. It’s good to encourage such things in a person as grumpy as Keith.

When Lance is done laughing he finds he’s breathing a little faster than he should be. He’s long recovered from their sprint earlier, so what’s up with that? And why is he still too hot?

“Do you think it’s too warm in here?” Lance asks, and Keith shrugs.

“A little,” he says. But Keith is still wearing his jacket so he must not be as warm as Lance is feeling.

“Huh.” His breathing is definitely faster than normal and he can actually feel his pulse a bit. His skin is too hot and a little sensitive to touch. What is this? A panic attack? But he’s not panicking, is he?

Lance is about to say something about it to Keith until he feels a distinctive tingle in his nethers. A bit of tightening and swelling. Oh. _Oh_! What the hell? Why is he - ? He’s _way_ past those days of puberty isn’t he?

Keith starts pulling off his jacket so Lance takes the opportunity to pull his legs closer to his chest to try and hide his boner, even if his jeans mostly do the job for him.

Lance looks at Keith’s face to see if he notices, except then Lance notices Keiths’s flushed cheeks. Is it happening to him too? Lance watches him quietly for a minute to make sure, and yup, _wow_ Keith’s pants must have some elasticity and a lot more give than Lance’s jeans, because that is definitely an erection.

Keith pulls his knees up and Lance raises his eyes from Keith’s crotch to his pissed off face.

“What the fuck, Lance?” Keith growls.

“You have a hard on,” Lance says cheerfully, and now Keith looks even more pissed off. Oops.

“Yeah. Thanks for pointing it out, asshole,” Keith sneers. “It’s not - “

“I do too!” Lance blurts out, pleased that he’s at least not alone in this humiliation. “I, uh, wasn’t sure why but if we both do than it’s probably - “

“Something in our environment,” Keith finishes, looking around the tiny cave. Lance looks too. But there’s really not much here. Dirt, rocks, a bit of moss. Keith groans suddenly and Lance looks at him, startled.

“Your fucking flower crowns!” Keith says, yanking his off and throwing it as far as he can out of their little cave.

“Hey!” Lance objects, hurt. “I made that for you!”

“And it’s giving us erections! I don’t want an erection!” Keith reaches for Lance’s crown too and Lance squeals, holding it tight to his head.

“You don’t know that!” Lance whines. “We were in a whole field of them for ages! Why would it only be a problem now?”

Keith wrestles the crown from his head and then his hands, damaging the pretty flowers in the process. Lance is furious.

“Maybe because now we’re in a small space where the air can get saturated and we had them on our fucking _heads_?” Keith says, tossing out the mangled remains of Lance’s crown. That horrible, destructive _jerkface_.

“Well, see if I ever make you a flower crown again,” Lance frowns, crossing his arms.

“I never asked you to make me one.”

“No, I just did out of the goodness of my big, generous heart,” Lance rants, pointing a finger in Keith’s stupid, mulleted face. “And you threw away my beautiful gift of friendship and camaraderie like a mean, heartless bastard!”

Keith leans back against the rock and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I promise if you make me a flower crown that _doesn’t_ give me a boner or anything else awful or stupid, I will treasure your gift with the honor it deserves.”

“...Thank you,” Lance says, mildly appeased.

They wait for their erections to go down in mostly agreeable silence.

...And wait.

And wait.

“Oh my GOD,” Lance shouts after what must be nearly fifteen minutes, shifting uncomfortably. “We got rid of the flowers, when will this go away!?”

“I guess the effects take a while to wear off,” Keith says, scowling, tense and staring at the rock like it might start moving soon or something. “We just have to wait.”

“But for how _long_?” Lance says. He’s _hard_ and it’s super uncomfortable straining against his jeans.

“I don’t know, Lance, alien flowers that give you boners are a new thing for me,” Keith snaps.

Lance sighs gustily. “Can I… ? Um. This is pretty painful. Do you mind if I… unbutton?”

“Sure, I don’t care. Just don’t whip it out,” Keith says, still glaring at the wall of rock by Lance’s head.

Lance promptly unbuttons and unzips, groaning in relief. His mood immediately improves at his lessened suffering.

“I want to say this is a pretty funny situation,” Lance says. “But I don’t think I’m there yet.”

“So don’t say it.”

“I’ve gotta say something, Keith. It’s kind of awkward sitting closely in silence with you when we’re sporting mutual wood.”

“Don’t say ‘mutual’ like this is some… attraction thing,” Keith says. “This is a biological reaction to some alien plant. This isn’t a mutual anything.”

“Uh huh, sure. However you want to say it, we’re both sitting here with a stiffy and I need something to distract me from my urgent need to masturbate right now.”

Keith groans. “Don’t _say_ that!”

“It’s the truth!” Lance is gripping his thighs in an effort to keep his hands away from his junk. “If you don’t like what I’m saying, say something yourself but I really need a distraction right now, Keith.”

“...I don’t know what to talk about,” Keith says.

“Probably ‘cause your mind is stuck in the gutter like mine.”

His silence is as good as confirmation.

“Do you think this counts as ‘under the influence’?” Lance wonders aloud. “Like, if we had sex right now would that be some kind of... rape? Since you can’t really consent? _Can_ you consent?”

“What the fuck! We’re not having sex.” Somehow Keith’s face becomes even more red than before, reaching new levels of flushed.

“Duh. But it’s a good question, isn’t it? I’m not saying we _should_ have sex. It’s hypothetical, Keith.”

“I don’t know,” Keith groans. “I’m giving you a firm ‘no’ right now so I guess our brains aren’t _that_ fucked up.”

“Hmm, yeah. But I’m getting some seriously weird ideas right now since I’m so horny.” Really weird. So weird he’ll never say them out loud kind of weird. But there’s at least one idea... “Like, I wouldn’t mind if we both whipped ‘em out and started jerking it. And that’s not something I’d usually think.”

Keith covers his face mutely.

“...Is that a no?”

“That’s a _FUCK NO_ , Lance!” Keith says, voice muffled by his hands still on his face. Lance sighs. He thought it was a pretty good idea. But maybe that’s his dick talking.

“What if this doesn’t wear off until we come?” Lance whines. “How long are we gonna sit here like this, man?”

“We’re going to sit here until the others call and tell us they’ve arrived to pick us up,” Keith says, finally lowering his hands. He returns to staring at the rock, as stone-faced as the wall he watches so intently.

“That could be hours. Days even! I can’t deal with a boner for days. I’ll go insane!”

“You’re already insane,” Keith mutters, and uh. _Rude_.

“I’m serious! I can’t sit here forever with my dick this hard. I’m gonna… snap and do something crazy like run out and meet whatever aliens just landed. See if they’re down to fuck.”

“ _Fine!_ ” Keith growls, shifting to crawl out of the cave. “I’ll go out and see if the ship is gone. You stay here and… do what you need to do.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Lance calls after him, immediately stuffing his hand down his boxers and gripping himself with a pleased groan.

He’s starting to get into it, stroking firmly, his breath hitched, his muscles tight with tension – when Keith tumbles back down into the cave _way too fucking soon_ , expression fierce, and Lance freezes.

“There’s Galra out there,” Keith explains grimly, resolutely looking away from Lance as he settles in. “Lots of Galra. I don’t know what happened, maybe someone recognized us in town.”

“Um,” Lance squeaks. And he’s a little ashamed of it, but he’s much less distressed by the thought of Galra than the thought that he can’t touch himself now. “ _Please_ don’t make me stop!” he begs.

Keith closes his eyes and sighs, leaning his head back against the rock. “ _Fine._ Whatever... Just please stop whining about it.”

“Thank you,” Lance says again. But it’s different now, he’s more hesitant to move because Keith will hear and maybe feel when his legs move. And he doesn’t want to subject Keith to that. But at the same time it’s really _hot_ that Keith is listening, that he’s right _here_. Lance’s breath quickens. Every small point of contact where their legs touch burns. It makes him want to touch himself more, and right now his soft strokes are just barely holding the edge off. He needs _more_.

“Um,” Lance chokes out. “Are you sure you don’t want to, uh… with me?”

He watches as Keith’s fists clench on his thighs. It’s a reminder that Keith is just as hard as he is right now, and probably struggling just as much not to fuck his own hand until he comes.

“...Wouldn’t that be weird?” Keith says eventually, eyes still shut tight.

It sends a thrill through Lance, because that isn’t a _no_ , that means maybe Keith wants it like Lance wants it but is too caught up on what it would mean.

“I don’t mind,” Lance says hoarsely, still stroking himself lightly. “It’s like… a medical problem, you know? Gotta give yourself the cure.”

Keith huffs a short laugh, slowly opening his eyes to look at Lance and then quickly away. His knees unfold a bit and one hand creeps down to cup himself over his pants.

“You make fun of me or tell anyone about this and I will stab you in the throat,” Keith says, and _holy shit_ being threatened like that should not be sexy but Lance’s cock twitches in response. He gulps.

“O-okay,” Lance stutters, eyes riveted as Keith’s hand begins to rub.

“Why are you watching me?” Keith asks lowly, but he doesn’t sound especially angry about it and Lance knows _all_ of Keith’s angry tones as their most frequent target.

“Does it bother you?” he whispers, and watches Keith swallow.

“...No.”

They stay at a sort of sensual equilibrium for a while, Keith rubbing at his dick through his pants and Lance teasing himself with his hand down his underwear. Lance watches Keith and he knows Keith watches him too. Their breathing is shallow and loud.

“You can, uh… pull your pants down if you want,” Lance says eventually, unwilling to examine too closely why he thinks that might be a good idea.

Keith’s eyes narrow. “Only if you do, too,” he says.

“...Okay.”

Their hands linger at their waist lines nervously, eyeing each other to make sure they’re both committed before lifting their hips as one and tugging at their pants. When they settle again, their pants trap their legs from moving too much and they sit in the dirt in their underwear. All thoughts of Galra and their team and anything outside of this moment are far gone.

Lance stares at Keith’s muscular thighs and the head of his dick peeking out above his briefs. His mouth is dry.

“Maybe we should hurry and get this over with,” Keith suggests, pulling off one of his gloves. He meets Lance’s eyes and boldly lowers the hem to pull out his cock, taking it in hand.

Lance nods mutely, hand almost shaking as he does the same. Too turned on to feel shy about it, he thumbs the head and watches as Keith twists on a long stroke.

“I don’t want to, uh… make this weird or anything,” Lance rasps. “But you look _really_ fucking hot right now.”

“I think this passed weird a while ago,” Keith murmurs, eyelids drooping. God, how is he so sexy? Or is that just the alien sex plant thinking for him?

“...Does that mean I can say anything I want?” Lance asks, almost desperately. He strokes himself faster.

“I’ll tell you if I don’t like it.” Keith’s other hand drifts toward his stomach, sliding under his shirt to touch bare skin.

“Deal,” Lance gasps. “Fuck, Keith. I wanna do things to you right now I’ve never done before, never thought to do with you.”

“Like what?” Keith asks. Lance can see Keith’s grip become tighter, can feel his legs shake against his own.

“I want to wrap my lips around your dick and suck until you come in my mouth,” Lance says. “I want to swallow and keep sucking until you’re soft and so sensitive it hurts. And then keep going. Until you’re hard again and I can do it all over.”

“Sounds like a- a good use for that mouth,” Keith says, hips rocking gently to press into his hand. “What else?”

“I want to press against your back,” Lance babbles. “Have my dick between your ass cheeks and my arms around your waist, my fingers wrapped around your cock.”

Keith groans and as if by mutual agreement, they speed up in their stroking. They’re getting close. Labored gasps and the slap of skin on skin bounce back at them in the small cave.

“Or - “ Lance moans, shuts his eyes tight, and barely restrains himself from slamming his head back into the rock. “Or maybe I could finger myself open nice and wide, get myself dripping with lube, and take you up the ass. You wanna fuck me, Keith?”

Keith comes with a whine, whole body shaking so strong that Lance shakes in turn. Lance opens his eyes and watches eagerly, hoping to memorize the expression of agonized pleasure on Keith’s face as he orgasms.

Lance comes soon after, biting his lip with a whimper at the force of it, feeling his semen shooting up to drip on his fingers and stomach.

Their breathing slows a bit as they come down from their pleasurable high, bodies loose and their grips slack. That relief doesn’t last long.

They’re still hard.

“Fuck,” Keith groans, throwing his head back with a painful-sounding _thunk_ and yup, there’s his angry tone. “Looks like coming doesn’t help, Lance.”

“Um… it was a good theory?” he defends. Hey, this situation is new to both of them, how could he have known?

“Yeah, I guess,” Keith grumbles, looking at his dirtied hand with a grimace. He wipes it on his shirt before pulling his glove back on. Lance really hopes he washes those things occasionally. “We’re still going to have to suffer until it wears off.”

“...But it was a nice, uh, intermission to the suffering?” Lance suggests tentatively. Hopefully.

Keith meets his eyes briefly before looking away again with a frown. “...Yeah.” He moves to tuck himself back in and pull up his pants. Lance follows his lead after wiping himself off, but leaves the fly of his jeans gaping to give himself some breathing room. “But we shouldn’t do it again. Exhausting ourselves jacking off is a bad idea, not to mention we were completely vulnerable. We’d be dead if the Galra actually found us here.”

“Right,” Lance says soberly at the reminder of their _full_ situation. “How close were they? When you looked earlier?”

“Not that close,” Keith admits, reaching for his jacket to pull out his bayard. “But we don’t know why they’re here. They could be looking for us.”

“Yeah.” Lance reaches for his own bayard and activates it, holding it in his arms. Just in case.

They sit in grim silence.

“Waiting like this is gonna suck, huh?” Lance says.

“Yeah.”

But Lance just doesn’t have the ability to stay somber for long, not when things are currently quiet and peaceful. His leg begins to jiggle and Keith glares at him but he ignores it. He tries to think of _anything_ except his never-ending erection, how good it felt to masturbate with Keith right there doing the same, or how much he wants to do it again – maybe do something else even better.

“So should we, like… talk about what happened?” Lance asks, because that’s really the only thing on his mind other than fucking – what this is gonna mean for them and their friendship.

Lance suggested masturbating would be like a medical treatment, it didn’t have to be weird… But then it definitely got weird. Was it a good weird or a bad weird? Lance wants to say good weird, but what does Keith think?

Keith’s lips purse (when did his lips become so distracting?) and he’s back to staring at the wall.

“It should wait until we’re not compromised by those fucking flowers,” he says. “And also maybe until we’re not at immediate risk of being found and killed by Galra.”

“Yeah, makes sense,” Lance says, nodding, still jiggling his leg with the pent up energy he _wishes_ he could put to use getting nasty with Keith. But is that just the flowers talking? Or his horny dick? Will he still want that when this is over? He’s not sure. “Good plan. As long you’ll actually talk to me when this is done.”

“How could I avoid it?” Keith says. “We’re teammates and it’s a pretty big castle but there aren’t a lot of places to hide.”

Lance snickers, imagining them playing some weird game of hide and seek all over the castle, Lance chasing Keith like freaking Pepé Le Pew in those old cartoons. He frowns. Actually, that would really suck. He’s glad Keith isn’t planning on doing that. Probably.

“Got it,” Lance says, trying to clear his mind of the pathetic image. “Important feelings talk later, wait to be rescued now.”

So they wait. And wait a little more. And Lance is ready to die he’s so horny, but they decided not to do anything about that so he’s just gonna have to grit his teeth and bear it this time.

“Do you think we should check if they’re still here?” Lance asks. It would be nice to at least stand up for a minute, this cave is pretty cramped.

“It seems like an unnecessary risk,” Keith says after a moment of thought. “They could spot us if they are, and even if they aren’t we’re not really going anywhere until the team gets here.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Lance sighs and shifts around to find a more comfortable position. He’s so bored. “Do you think it’s safe to take a nap?”

Keith shrugs. “If you think you’ll be able to. I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Thanks,” Lance says, smiling. He’s not sure he’ll be able to, but it’s worth a shot. “Wake me up if you wanna switch.”

“Will do.”

He closes his eyes. Eventually, Lance falls into a restless sleep.

* * *

“- here! We’re here!”

Lance wakes up to hear Keith shouting into his comm, grinning widely. He checks himself and yup, still hard. God dammit those are some potent flowers. But at least it sounds like the team is here to help.

“Sorry we’re late,” Shiro’s voice comes through, tired but still cheerful. “Looks like you have a bit of a Galra problem here. You two okay?”

“We’re fine,” Keith responds, glossing over the whole never-ending erection thing. “We’re hiding in a big rock formation a little ways from the pick up point.”

“Got it, don’t hit the rock,” Hunk says, and now Lance can hear the sounds of lasers and exploding ships in the distance.

“Hold tight, we should be able to take care of these guys quickly,” Shiro says.

“We’ll be here,” Lance chimes in. “Still waiting. As we have been for forever.”

“Don’t sass your rescuers, Lance,” Pidge says. “Or we might just decide to leave you there.”

Lance makes sure the mic picks up his gasp. “Hunk, buddy, bro, _you_ wouldn’t leave me here, would you?”

“Of course not,” Hunk says, and a blast of energy rocks the ground beneath them. “Not just for sass, anyway.”

Lance’s eyes narrow and he glares at his comm as if the audio-only device could possibly transmit his facial expression to its target. “Are you saying there are circumstances where - “

“Focus, you guys,” Shiro chides. “We’re not finished yet.”

“Yes, Shiro,” Pidge and Hunk chime.

The comms are quiet after that while lots of things crash and explode.

“You’re good to come out now,” Shiro says when things quiet down. “Coran will meet you at the original pick up point. Or, well… at the edge of the crater that’s there now.”

“See you soon,” Keith says, and he exchanges a concerned look with Lance. Yes, they are still erect and no, it’s not going away. They’ll have to tell the team about it so they can find a solution and _damn_ that will be embarrassing.

Resigned, Lance buttons up his pants and grabs his jacket. Together they climb out of their cave and stiffly walk back towards the pick up point, edging around debris and giant holes in the ground. The meadow is no longer very picturesque and Lance mourns the pretty blue flowers, even if they _are_ the bastards responsible for what’s become a serious medical problem.

Except as they walk Lance notices a funny thing. His dick is starting to soften. He slows down and exchanges a confused glance with Keith. He stops walking. Yup, definitely soft down there. Everything back to normal. He turns to look back at the rock suspiciously, then back at Keith. That timing is just too perfect to be coincidental.

“It was never the goddamned flowers!” Lance screeches, throwing his arms up. “You ruined my flower crown for nothing!”

Keith crosses his arms with a huff. “Well it was a good theory,” he defends. “We still don’t know what really caused it.”

“Something in the _cave_ obviously!” Lance shouts. “We could have left and been fine, but you just had to blame the flowers - !”

“If we left we might have been caught by Galra! It was uncomfortable but at least we’re _alive_ \- !”

“You threw away my gift - !”

“So make another one!”

“The flowers are gone now!”

“Not all of them!” Keith says, waving an arm at the ruined meadow. Lance huffs.

“ _You_ are going to help me find more flowers,” Lance says, pointing a demanding finger in Keith’s face. He ignores the pod from the castle landing a few hundred yards away. He has more important things to deal with right now. “And _I_ will make you another flower crown. And _you_ will wear this one for at least the rest of the day and treasure it for the well-meaning gift that it is!”

“Fine!” Keith scowls.

“Fine!” Lance scowls too.

They part dramatically and begin searching the pock-marked field for intact flowers. Coran comes out of the pod to bring them inside so they can leave, but they are determined and will not be swayed. Eventually they’re willing to leave, each holding as much pretty, alien flora as they can carry.

Once inside the pod, Lance sits on the floor and begins weaving flower crowns in stubborn silence. Keith is determined to ignore him. Until Lance finishes the first crown and stands to place it on Keith’s head and they look each other in the eyes with matching glares.

Lance’s lips twitch, his shoulders shake, his eyes water. And then he bursts into laughter, Keith watching with a reluctant smile.

“What?” Keith mutters, reaching up to adjust the crown. “Does it not look okay?”

“I can’t stay mad at you when you look so pretty,” Lance admits when he calms down, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Thank you, Lance,” Keith says with a smirk. “I will treasure this gift.”

Lance nods sharply, lips pursed. “You’d better! For the rest of the day!”

“So long as it doesn’t give me a hard on,” Keith says.

“The flowers won’t,” Lance promises, and their eyes meet for a second too long. They look away. “Remember, we’re due for a talk.”

“I remember,” Keith says as Lance returns to floor. “Meet you in my room when everything’s done?”

“Yeah.” Lance nods and picks up the first flower for his next crown.

In the end, everyone gets a flower crown and no one suffers ill effects – unwanted erections or otherwise. They are all grateful for Lance’s gifts and the whole team looks very pretty for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Plot twist! It was the moss. Sex *spores* not sex pollen! *gasp* Hope you enjoyed this silly thing.
> 
>  ~~Maybe I’ll write a sequel? But no promises, my writing craze seems to have died down and I only have a vague idea of what it would be about.~~ Edit: Sequel up now. It's pretty different and focused more on feelings, but maybe you'll like it?
> 
> Also, [my illustration of these two chilling in a cave wearing flower crowns.](https://n-adagio.tumblr.com/post/160123821977/illustration-of-my-nsfw-fic-flowers-in-bloom-a)


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